I recently ran across a CD of music described as being meant for “slow flow yoga.” I didn’t listen to the music and I have no idea what slow flow yoga is, but the overall concept intrigued me as something worth exploring. The thing is, I’m about as non-yoga a person as you’re ever likely to meet, so I’m not really sure I’m perfectly qualified to make music for any sort of yoga, slow or any other kind of flow…

Of course, that little devil on my left shoulder piped right up. “Hey, man, you go to birthday parties when it’s not your birthday, right? Well, you can make music for this slow flow whatsis even if you don’t do it. Or better yet, if you don’t do yoga, maybe there’s something close to yoga that will work instead if people don’t look too closely…”

So I got to thinking.

Slow Flow Yoda? Too obvious this was, and while weird I am, Weird Al Yankovic I am not.

Slow Flow Boba? Bubble tea makes me gag, and besides, if I used my usual solid-state preamps, I’d veer too close to Star Wars territory again. Also a good idea this was not.

Slow Flow Rogaine? I have several fuzz pedals, but I’m not too unhappy with the state of my scalp, so: nah.

Slow Flow Toga? Mental image of a drunk student in Animal House oozing down a staircase on his back. Closer, but not there yet.

And then it hit me. Slow Flow Yogurt! Yogurt sorta flows slow… well, actually it doesn’t, it kinda plops out of the container in lumps, it doesn’t realy flow… unless it’s FROZEN!

Perfect for a cold nearly-winter’s day, sweet and chilly, with a slow flow to it, maybe combining drones with mix-ins and sprinkles of crystallized synthetic yumminess. SLOW FLOW FRO YO!

I allowed myself a brief moment of patting myself on the back for having invented Yet Another EM Subgenre™, but then ran into a problem. I wasn’t sure what music in the RadioSpiral library could be tagged as “slow flow fro yo”, and I wasn’t sure any of the artists would appreciate it if they were.

There was only one solution: make my own!

So, tonight on Spiral, at least an hour, possibly two, of slow flow fro yo music, improvised live in Subterranean Scumbarge Studio, thousands of feet beneath the streets of beautiful downtown Atomic City. (And some surprises if things fall apart before my two hours are up and I hand off to Tony for his live set. People may get tagged as slow flow fro yo whether they like it or not.)

You know the drill: radiospiral.net for the music, Slack for the live chat (see the website to join in), and the still-wintry Orlov sim in Second Life for virtual listening and visiting. The flow begins slow at 9/8/7/6 PM E/C/M/PST. See you then!

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